I live my life with a deeply rooted set of ethos. I permit myself to sway from time to time – but regardless the ethos are deeply rooted and a major part of who I am. But then life throws a curve ball and I am left walking haphazardly through a maze of contradictions.
I love deeply yet I can hate almost as passionately the evil I encounter.
I crave affection and companionship at the same time I yearn for solitude.
I am grateful – yet I feel dissatisfied.
I am lost – although I can always find my way home.
I pray – yet I cannot understand a power which seems to be quite powerless.
I live my life one step at a time, taking care to enjoy each vision, each caress…yet I fret about tomorrow three days ago.
Look at me, you can never read my emotions by my smile.
Look at me, can you read my emotions in my eyes?
I am leaping for joy – crying at times in the dark – loving all around me – yet lonely at the same time.
I love myself for the person I am – yet I chide myself for not feeling the ultimate freedom of living freely. Freedom of living free – I like that yet I question the logic of the wordplay.
Hold my hand, walk with me – talk with me and ask me questions.
Teach me about this road filled with stones, knives and sunken holes.
I walk along the sand and I turn to see if there are other footsteps following me – the waves come and erase all traces before I get the chance to understand. The visions of the water endlessly ebbing and flowing – the bells ringing from the church on that hill, the sun rising and setting – its all a misconception as are the stars in the night sky – they are not there and not as they seem to be.
Look at me, you can never believe the fire inside of me.
Look at me, I am a contradiction – fire and ice, tears and laughter, black and white, sun and moon…a child can never understand true love – only feelings of needs and wants.
The earth is spinning eastward – homeward – so westward is bucking the trend and moving away, running? Tornados of emotions, life and death – contradictions. Words and silence, wind and tranquility, chutes and ladders.
Contradictions in life and death – keep on walking, keep on walking.