“It’s not hopeless, it’s been done before. Drink your juice kid, do what needs to be done. Stop thinking you are meant for something more, something miraculous that can change the world. Sit at your desk and pay attention. Stop calling out, stop being the clown and for God sakes stop daydreaming.”
I must have died a thousand times in my life, suppressing that spark in my soul that lit up my worlds.
We give up so much of our true self because we need to follow other people’s ideas of how we should act, dress and feel.
It’s like I’m in a straight jacket, rag around my mouth and blindfolded. Needing to run and sing, yet forced to sit quietly my emotions nearly tucked in.
I think that’s why I have failed… But I can’t do it anymore, can’t turn into the walking dead who walk alongside me. I can’t keep in step, I just don’t have that rhythm.
“It’s not hopeless, it’s been done before. But I won’t drink that juice and I’ll remember that I am someone special who can do the miraculous. I am meant for more…”
That is why I shake, I am suppressing so many emotions and physical motions I need to express. Of course it’s natural to need to break out, I need to break out. Nothing I’ve been doing, is doing anyone any good. I cannot be great trying to be someone I truly do not want to be.
That anxiety is my true self wanting to break free… It has to start with me.
Set me free, it starts with me, set me free, let me be… Free.