She couldn’t move from her bed. She felt the room spinning and spinning as if on a neverending merry-go-round. She looked up at the ceiling and noticed a shadow was moving closer and closer. A little girl was standing over her and whispering something. What?
Where was she? Sometime in…
She jumped up. Lydia had a bad dream. A nightmare where all memories have been wiped away – like the chalk from a board. Still somehow seen but totally illegible. Markings on a worn out stone from thousands of years ago – written in a language long dead.
Lydia’s fear was forgetting.
She had an Aunt who had lost all memories of herself – as if her mind had been stolen from her body and that remained was her physical self.
Lydia stood up, looked at the clock which said 532. Pulled on her robe and went to boil some water. Sitting down by the small table in the kitchen she thinks about her kids and hopes they have found what had eluded her…
True happiness was like sand in a hourglass – piling up one moment and slipping away the next. Who was this man, “Anthony.” Why had they connected so quickly? Why had been so frightened when she felt that she was speaking too much?
Loneliness can be quite the impetus for two strangers to begin a relationship. For long ago forgotten emotions to spring awake and begin to poke and prod their way back into ones life.
Her phone rang.
“Hey mom.” It was Daniella, her eldest.
“Good morning Dani.”
“How you doing mom?”
“I am feeling good – just had a strange drea-”
“Cary woke up at 3 oclock with a fever. When I took his temperture he threw up all over the place.”
“Is he ok?”
“He is sleeping now and I am up doing laundry – so I guess he is ok. He doesn’t have fever now. Not sure if it’s the Motrin or if he is doing better.”
“Do you need my help? Do you want me to come over?”
“No its fine. So anyway…”
Lydia wanted to be needed, to be asked to come over and help out. She barley listened as Dani kept speaking about stupidity without even once thinking to inquire about her mother.
At one point Lydia put the phone down, refilled her cup with some hot water and came back without her brief absence being noticed.
“Dani – I have to hang up.”
“Are you ok?”
“Yes, yes, how much of this can I hear over and over again?”
“Nothing, there is a lot of noise – I will call you later.”
Lydia made her way out of the kitchen, looked outside and noticed it had clouded up since the night before. She thought about Daniella and how she was always self-absorbed even as a child. Abby on the other hand had changed. Abby was the good one, the caring daughter who was always dreaming and writing in her journal.
At twenty she thought she had found the answers to her questions in her philosophy professor. It turned out his philosophy in life was to screw every coed he could before he turned 60. When she walked in on him with another student, a freshman, pleasuring him at his desk. She threw her books at him and stormed out of the building. She never went back and began working as a waitress a week later in a diner a block from our home.
Today she lives outside of Port Washington. She is married to a lawyer who is as big of an asshole as her father was. Their three kids make up for any sadness that he causes her – she visits twice a month.
Daniella lived 30 minutes away and would stop frequently – it always felt as if it the visits were made out of duty than out of love. Her kids, 4 girls had taken after their father who was a much better person than Dani.
That thought saddened her – made her feel as if she failed as a mother.
A knock on the door.
“Who is it?”
“Its Dwight D and Anthony, good morning.”
Groucho began to bark and jump in circles by the door. She took his leash and connected it to his collar and opened the door.
“Good morning, I was just taking Groucho for his walk.”
“Would you mind if I joined you?”
“Not at all…maybe we can grab that coffee.” She smiled.
“Sounds absolutely wonderful.” He smiled right back.