A father has a lonely job.
A father, just as anyone else, grows up dreaming of conquering the world. As a baseball player, an actor and as a singer. The stage is his to occupy – the field of dreams his to roam.
The road is expansive, the days are long and the night at times can seem endless. There are times he will sigh, he will laugh and he will sing the songs he knows – there are times when the tears wont fall but the sadness and the fear will eat him up inside.
Looks in the mirror, wetting his hair, straightening his tie and smiling.
“No use in putting it out there for display.” He thinks to himself as he opens the door.
The unpaid bills, the broken furniture and the clothing literally hanging by a string or two.
“We’ll get to it when I get that next check…”
Looks in the mirror, wets his hair, straightens his tie and forces a smile.
The too soon winters and then the too soon Augusts…
Babies crying, children walking and talking, kids going to school. Boy meets girl, girl meets boy and the walk down the aisle and then you stand aside as they walk away.
You find yourself looking in the mirror, wetting your hair and trying to recognize the man looking back at you.
You did it your way – you did it the way you were taught.
You were knocked down, de-prided, denied by the people you once felt closest to, betrayed by a kiss and left alone to look in the mirror, stare into those eyes and try to avoid wondering how they came to have those emotions in them. You try and smile…
Knocked down – but always getting back up again. Inner strength enforced by faith in a Higher Power – He is walking with you in silence…but actions speak volumes. Questions are left unanswered or unheard.
Unpaid bills, unfulfilled jobs and false promises – smiles in the mirror and hugs and kisses all around.
Its all about love, isnt it?
The dreams of conquering the world singing the songs, hitting the home runs and acting on stage all come back to love.
We all want the love – we all want to be held close, kissed and told, “I believe in you.”
We all go through the emotions biding our time until this winter of our discontent will thaw and the Spring will again bring us the smiles…the ability to exhale…
Dont get me wrong – its full of happiness and fulfillment this life we lead – but at times just trying to get through a day with a sense of dignity is a victory that you never thought you would be smiling for.
Through the countless evenings walking home there is always that flash in the night which reminds you just what you are living for. Who you are living for.
As she answers the door you give her a rose and a smile. She looks back at you and takes your hand and somehow you can sense the adoration you once dreamed of. Within her grasp you have conquered the world.
Freddy Zalta 