You take the train, you stand alone among strangers. You feel like you are dying because you are, aren’t we all? At our own pace we face it, try to ignore it and fight it.

Fifty seven has come so soon, you weren’t prepared for the rocks on the road, the streets paved with nails and glass. You thought you had it figured out… you thought…

You stand on the platform and you feel just like a clown without an audience, without that big top and without that a band of carnies to travel with.

You failed, time and again. You’ve never lost the nerve or the passion, you only avoided becoming like all the rest.

Where did that get you?
Who are you?
What do you believe in?
How impassioned is your faith?
Do you wrap your arm and wear that box? By your heart and your soul?

That road from the platform to the house you live in, can be dirty and crooked. Do you look up and look for answers, directions, clarity…

Dark skies, a storm is brewing. Cool wind blowing the rubbish in circles, the river is racing blindly over rocks, over cliffs and finding solace within itself.

Lightning and then, thunder.
Lady on the corner putting her tarot cards in a box as her client begs her for more time, more cards and more signs. Tarot lady just closes the door.

If God is the answer, and faith the well of empowerment, tell me where the answers are.

On the F heading home, the train is delayed a stop from Church Avenue. A Orthodox Jewish lady has her face to her book of Psalms. She is in pain or scared, she reads the words and I believe, finds her answers.

You left us in your overtime, kept you in my heart and in my head. I find myself at times wanting to feel that truth in your eyes, your hand in mine. I close my eyes and I can sense your presence.

Thursday evening and the week has been another blur, a second passed in a lifetime of moments. I look outside my window at 4 in the morning, eyes wide open to the desolation outside. Soon it will be day and in the light I will search for that wick that had been extinguished. Although the match I have is damp, I believe, I believe I can set ablaze once again that eternal flame.
I believe, I believe, I believe.